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Favorite Captions from Anne Taintor

Do you have a favorite Anne Taintor caption? These are our top-selling captions for the most recent month. Click on any caption (or the image) to view the products it's available on.

Think you can do better? Have a look at this month's caption contest image and submit your own captions!

1
born to be wild

born to be wild

2
did somebody say "open bar"?

did somebody say "open bar"?

3
screw the budget!

screw the budget!

4
old enough to know better... too young to give a rat's ass

old enough to know better... too young to give a rat's ass

5
someone called...about something...

someone called...about something...

6
I love not camping

I love not camping

7
golly! liquor is quicker!

golly! liquor is quicker!

8
You be Thelma. I'll be Louise.

You be Thelma. I'll be Louise.

9
"high maintenance" doesn't even begin to cover it

"high maintenance" doesn't even begin to cover it

10
so many stores... so little cash

so many stores... so little cash

11
good girls go to heaven...I just need to get to Chicago

good girls go to heaven...I just need to get to Chicago

12
all I want is an umbrella in my drink

all I want is an umbrella in my drink

13
what's a nice girl like me doing without a drink in her hand?

what's a nice girl like me doing without a drink in her hand?

14
why do dishes when you can do daiquiris?

why do dishes when you can do daiquiris?

15
hmm...what can I buy today?

hmm...what can I buy today?

16
#%&@*!!!!!!

#%&@*!!!!!!

17
good girls go to heaven... I just want to go shopping

good girls go to heaven... I just want to go shopping

18
just file it under "who cares?"

just file it under "who cares?"

19
she was one cocktail away from proving his mother right

she was one cocktail away from proving his mother right

20
I dreamed my whole house was clean...

I dreamed my whole house was clean...

21
...and then the children cleaned their rooms, got mommy her drink, and went straight to bed. The End.

...and then the children cleaned their rooms, got mommy her drink, and went straight to bed. The End.

22
can I retire now?

can I retire now?

23
change is good

change is good

24
do I ever question your lifestyle?

do I ever question your lifestyle?

25
inner beauty is for amateurs

inner beauty is for amateurs

26
surely it must be five o'clock somewhere

surely it must be five o'clock somewhere

27
why yes, I am overqualified

why yes, I am overqualified

28
WTF???

WTF???

29
it's so involved being me

it's so involved being me

30
stop me before I volunteer again

stop me before I volunteer again

31
she was comforted by the knowledge that they were helpless without her

she was comforted by the knowledge that they were helpless without her

32
why am I sober?

why am I sober?

33
beauty: it's not just a job... it's an adventure

beauty: it's not just a job... it's an adventure

34
because I'm the mother... that's why

because I'm the mother... that's why

35
my garden kicks ass

my garden kicks ass

36
now was probably not the best time to tell the kids they were Jewish

now was probably not the best time to tell the kids they were Jewish

37
why yes, I am that kind of girl

why yes, I am that kind of girl

38
are you certain you want to interrupt my coffee break?

are you certain you want to interrupt my coffee break?

39
I dreamed my whole desk was clean...

I dreamed my whole desk was clean...

40
I'm so happy it's happy hour

I'm so happy it's happy hour

41
more paperwork, please

more paperwork, please

42
she kind of enjoyed working for an idiot

she kind of enjoyed working for an idiot

43
ta-daa! now let's have a cocktail...

ta-daa! now let's have a cocktail...

44
why, I'd be delighted to put my needs last again

why, I'd be delighted to put my needs last again

45
you have to start drinking pretty damn early if you want to stay wasted all day

you have to start drinking pretty damn early if you want to stay wasted all day

46
is it possible that I'm simply too attractive?

is it possible that I'm simply too attractive?

47
it's always fun until somebody breaks a nail...

it's always fun until somebody breaks a nail...

48
oops! I spent the grocery money on shoes again...

oops! I spent the grocery money on shoes again...

49
the day was in dire need of a Ctrl+Alt+Delete

the day was in dire need of a Ctrl+Alt+Delete

50
you're never too old... to try something stupid

you're never too old... to try something stupid

51
are we there yet?

are we there yet?

52
breathalyze me

breathalyze me

53
drinks after work? why wait that long?

drinks after work? why wait that long?

54
guess where I'm tattooed

guess where I'm tattooed

55
I'm going to be the most popular girl in rehab!

I'm going to be the most popular girl in rehab!

56
so...how does a bombshell like me get through security

so...how does a bombshell like me get through security

57
frugal is such an ugly word

frugal is such an ugly word

58
honey, you couldn't handle half of me

honey, you couldn't handle half of me

59
Hurrah! At last I'm 50!

Hurrah! At last I'm 50!

60
I believe the word you're searching for is "divine"

I believe the word you're searching for is "divine"

61
I should come with a warning label

I should come with a warning label

62
just let my conscience be our guide

just let my conscience be our guide

63
looking for trouble? look no further...

looking for trouble? look no further...

64
the key word is "alleged"

the key word is "alleged"

65
we all have our baggage

we all have our baggage

66
choosy moms choose beer

choosy moms choose beer

67
medicated and motivated

medicated and motivated

68
on second thought... let's get drunk and order pizza!

on second thought... let's get drunk and order pizza!

69
say it with carbohydrates

say it with carbohydrates

70
she had not yet decided whether to use her power for good... or for evil

she had not yet decided whether to use her power for good... or for evil

71
the only thing left to polish off now is the eggnogg

the only thing left to polish off now is the eggnogg

72
think of me as "unexpected turbulence"

think of me as "unexpected turbulence"

73
together we will own your grandparents

together we will own your grandparents

74
walk faster... the children are catching up

walk faster... the children are catching up

75
whoever said laughter is the best medicine had clearly never tasted scotch

whoever said laughter is the best medicine had clearly never tasted scotch

76
WOW! I get to give birth AND change diapers!

WOW! I get to give birth AND change diapers!

77
make mine estrogen

make mine estrogen

78
what part of "I'm hung over, go home" don't you understand?

what part of "I'm hung over, go home" don't you understand?

79
...and what are you wearing?

...and what are you wearing?

80
bite me

bite me

81
Can someone call the Coast Guard? I believe I've dropped my Mai Tai.

Can someone call the Coast Guard? I believe I've dropped my Mai Tai.

82
don't fence me in

don't fence me in

83
everyone needs a hobby, dear... mine is cocktails

everyone needs a hobby, dear... mine is cocktails

84
had she really hit Reply to All?!?!?

had she really hit Reply to All?!?!?

85
hmm... you say tomato... I say Bloody Mary!

hmm... you say tomato... I say Bloody Mary!

86
honey, I'm already at my cruising altitude

honey, I'm already at my cruising altitude

87
Hurrah! At last I'm 40!

Hurrah! At last I'm 40!

88
hurry, dear... if you miss the bus you'll have to walk 'cause mommy can't drink and drive

hurry, dear... if you miss the bus you'll have to walk 'cause mommy can't drink and drive

89
I came... I shopped... I'm ready for a cocktail.

I came... I shopped... I'm ready for a cocktail.

90
I'd rather be getting my nails done...

I'd rather be getting my nails done...

91
if by "having fun" you mean trapped with no means of escape...? then yes, we're having fun

if by "having fun" you mean trapped with no means of escape...? then yes, we're having fun

92
if looks could kill women wouldn't need frying pans

if looks could kill women wouldn't need frying pans

93
in the event of a water landing...bikini enclosed

in the event of a water landing...bikini enclosed

94
it's okay... I didn't want a real life anyway

it's okay... I didn't want a real life anyway

95
Jack Frost was really beginning to piss her off

Jack Frost was really beginning to piss her off

96
make your own damn dinner

make your own damn dinner

97
martinis... they're not just for breakfast anymore

martinis... they're not just for breakfast anymore

98
oh Daddy! you're so much more fun after your third cocktail!

oh Daddy! you're so much more fun after your third cocktail!

99
please call back when I give a damn

please call back when I give a damn

100
she could see no good reason to act her age

she could see no good reason to act her age

101
she had made yet another wise shopping decision

she had made yet another wise shopping decision

102
surely it must be five o'clock somewhere

surely it must be five o'clock somewhere

103
what am I making for supper? why, sweetie, I'm making whatever the hell I want served with a side of eat it or starve

what am I making for supper? why, sweetie, I'm making whatever the hell I want served with a side of eat it or starve

104
when you never lift a finger you get lovely fingers

when you never lift a finger you get lovely fingers

105
where's the toy in this stupid happy meal?

where's the toy in this stupid happy meal?

106
yes, we are lesbians... and no, you can't watch

yes, we are lesbians... and no, you can't watch

107
you know me... busy, busy!

you know me... busy, busy!

108
you'll eat it... you'll eat it and like it

you'll eat it... you'll eat it and like it

109
gosh, Mom! I'd rather eat cat poo!

gosh, Mom! I'd rather eat cat poo!

110
had she really hit Reply to All?!?!?

had she really hit Reply to All?!?!?

111
she could never remember which was better... ...safe? ...or sorry?

she could never remember which was better... ...safe? ...or sorry?

112
someone is about to get herself voted off this island

someone is about to get herself voted off this island

113
what the...? I specifically requested five golden rings

what the...? I specifically requested five golden rings

114
whatever had she done? and with whom?

whatever had she done? and with whom?

115
you mess with the kitty, you feel the claws

you mess with the kitty, you feel the claws

116
you were right, honey... this is a lot more fun than golf and beer with the guys

you were right, honey... this is a lot more fun than golf and beer with the guys

117
“I’m So Happy It’s Happy Hour” Cocktail Book

“I’m So Happy It’s Happy Hour” Cocktail Book

118
what do you get for the girl who has everything? another cocktail, perhaps?

what do you get for the girl who has everything? another cocktail, perhaps?

119
a penny saved, if you ask me, is just plain stupid

a penny saved, if you ask me, is just plain stupid

120
an attitude is a terrible thing to waste

an attitude is a terrible thing to waste

Looking for something else? You can view all our captions here.

Or, have a go at suggesting your own caption for the February caption contest image.

 
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